Sometimes I feel mentally exhausted. Sometimes I feel like everyone needs me for something and I have no space. I cant even go to the toilet by myself, I either hear my kids say to my husband "wheres mum?" or "muuuummmmm" or they knock on the toilet door and try and talk to me. My 4 year old knocked on the toilet door the other day and asked me "are you doing poos or wees?" so I cant even go to the toilet for 30 seconds without them realising I'm missing.
Don't get me wrong I love being a mum and I love my kids, but I do miss the things that I took for granted pre kids, being able to sleep in till lunchtime, being able to just get up and go out without having to wait for my baby to wake up, having more money, and having a clean car without biscuits on the floor or banana that has been mashed into the carpet, and I find it amazing that as soon as I sit down and get comfortable, my kids will all of a sudden need me for something. I swear they must sit together in the toy room and conspire together "when mum sits down, we'll go and ask her to make us a sandwich" and I also find it out of this world that their dad could be standing in the kitchen and I'm somewhere else in the house but yet they will still come and ask me to get them a drink or make them something to eat, and their dad is right there!!!
All this being said, and even though some days can be harder than others, when I look at my beautiful boys, I know its all worth it, the kisses and cuddles I get from them is no other, and the laughter I hear echoing through the house when they play together is contagious, hearing "I love you mum" melts my heart. So yes parenting is a tough gig but I know before long they will be grown and wont need me to make them a sandwich or take them to bed, but I will enjoy going to the toilet on my own!!