Are you a people pleaser?

Being a people pleaser can be a good and bad thing. We tend to go through life wanting praise and acknowledgement and being a people pleaser is where we can sometimes find ourselves ending up.

Do you do things for people when you really don't want to? do you go to a friend of a friend of a friends wedding or birthday party just because you were invited when in fact you really don't want to go? Or babysit someones child when you have been so busy with your own children that you just want time to yourself but you do it anyway because you feel like you have to just because you have been asked?

Don't get me wrong there is a difference between doing things for your family and friends and being a doormat.With those close to you, doing things for them isn't usually a problem, because usually these people do things in return for you and you love them so therefor you don't mind doing things for them.....within reason. Sometimes even the closest people to you can take advantage of you and because it is your mum, sister, brother cousin etc you let them.

A few years ago I was a people pleaser, until one day I decided enough was enough and I had to start saying No, saying no doesn't come easy and it can actually be quite confronting for some people because when they start saying no the guilt and feeling like a bad friend/person sets in. Then they start questioning their decision and then can stress over the situation, which can then affect other areas of their life.

Saying no can be liberating and once you get in the mindset of not having to please everyone, putting yourself first and letting go of the guilt, you may find that your life will be less stressful because you are letting go of doing the things you really don't want to do.

Go on, try it. Say No!

Rudeness....I cant stand it!

Okay, so I'm about to have a whinge. One thing I cant STAND is people who are rude and arrogant. Say your at the shops and you go into an aisle with your trolley and you nearly collide with someone else, I being the nice person I am always says "oh sorry" and my pet hate is when either they don't say it back or acknowledge that you have spoken by saying "that's ok" back to you.

I was out shopping with one of my sons over the weekend and our trolley was half full when I headed to the checkout, a lady and myself got there at the same time and she only had a few items in her hand so I said to her that she could go before me, so she went ahead and didn't even say thankyou! omg I was so mad!!!! It doesn't take much to utter that word and so I said loudly enough so she could here "yeah no worries, your welcome!!!"

And my other pet hate is when your at the checkout and the cashier ignores your kids when they talk to them. My kids say goodbye to cashiers all the time and get no goodbye back, I just have to say to them maybe they didn't hear you and then change the subject, it makes me so mad though.

I wish I wouldn't let things like this get to me but I just don't understand why people have to act that way.

"where's mum?"

Sometimes I feel mentally exhausted. Sometimes I feel like everyone needs me for something and I have no space. I cant even go to the toilet by myself, I either hear my kids say to my husband "wheres mum?" or "muuuummmmm" or they knock on the toilet door and try and talk to me. My 4 year old knocked on the toilet door the other day and asked me "are you doing poos or wees?" so I cant even go to the toilet for 30 seconds without them realising I'm missing.

Don't get me wrong I love being a mum and I love my kids, but I do miss the things that I took for granted pre kids, being able to sleep in till lunchtime, being able to just get up and go out without having to wait for my baby to wake up, having more money, and having a clean car without biscuits on the floor or banana that has been mashed into the carpet, and I find it amazing that as soon as I sit down and get comfortable, my kids will all of a sudden need me for something. I swear they must sit together in the toy room and conspire together "when mum sits down, we'll go and ask her to make us a sandwich" and I also find it out of this world that their dad could be standing in the kitchen and I'm somewhere else in the house but yet they will still come and ask me to get them a drink or make them something to eat, and their dad is right there!!!

All this being said, and even though some days can be harder than others, when I look at my beautiful boys, I know its all worth it, the kisses and cuddles I get from them is no other, and the laughter I hear echoing through the house when they play together is contagious, hearing "I love you mum" melts my heart. So yes parenting is a tough gig but I know before long they will be grown and wont need me to make them a sandwich or take them to bed, but I will enjoy going to the toilet on my own!!

finances

Who is in charge of the finances in your house? In my house, its me. I prefer it and secretly I think my husband prefers me to look after them too although I know he does hate it sometimes.

Before we had kids and we were both working full time we used to pay bills whenever they came in, we never had any savings and used to just do and buy whatever we liked. Fast forward to now and we are on a so so strict budget. An old friend of mine came over one day and set up a budget for me on the computer, one that added up by itself, so all I had to do was put it what bills we had and how much we had to put aside every fortnight and off we went, it took a while to start adding up but we eventually got there. I adjust this budget every single week, I know how much money needs to go  where as its right in front of me in black and white. So whenever a bill comes in I know I will have the money there, and that gives me peace of mind and lets me sleep at night. Every single cent of our money is accounted for, this can be hard at times as sometimes we have to 'save' for a couple of weeks if we have a special event coming up or a birthday present we have to buy but we now have savings and our kids also each have their own bank account that money gets deposited into every fortnight, its not a lot but its better than nothing. Also having this budget is what allowed us to save to renovate our backyard, it took alot of saving for years but we eventually got there and now we have a beautiful backyard to enjoy.

The reasons why my husband can sometimes dislike my obsessiveness over our finances is because he can never buy me anything without me knowing, because I am on Netbank every few days, he knows that I can see where he has been and what he has bought. Last Christmas he bought me a motorola xoom tablet, and because he knew I would be able to see that he had bought one he disconnected one of the wires from the back of the computer so I couldnt go onto netbank and check the credit card statement, so here I was ringing up the interent company complaining because we had no internet when it was working perfectly fine the day before, my husband just sat there and didnt say a word, lol. So he was very very sneaky and did that because he didnt want my snooping on netbank to ruin my xmas present.

So do you have a budget that you stick to? or are you more relaxed and live week to week?
Who controls the finances, you or your partner?

Are you a hoarder?

Alright I'll confess, I'm a bit of a hoarder, I hang on to things that I know I really don't need nor have the space for, and I'm slowly running out of room. So tonight I cleaned out some draws.....

 I found old birthday cards to my husband right from when we first started going out (I kept these, got to hang on to some things right?) I found xray films from my 12 week scan with my first son and also came across my high school yearbooks. I ended up throwing away a whole garbage bag full of stuff I don't need to keep, clothes, papers, old batteries, broken photo frames, the list goes on and on.

I feel so much better for it and still have 3 draws to go but had to stop because the dust was making my nose itch.

So do you tend to hang onto things you really don't need just for the memories or are you tough and ditch it?

Remember to slip slop slap!

Summer is well and truly here in Perth and my back is burnt to a crisp.........its my own fault, I put sunscreen everywhere else except my back and I have lovely burnt in bather marks, so horrible.

I'm in so much pain, I can hardly move, its taught me a lesson that's for sure, even at 9.30 in the morning you can still get majorly burnt. The only way I can sleep is on my stomach, this is only comfortable for a while though, and no matter how many cold showers I have the water just isn't cold enough on my back, the rest of my body has goose bumps but my back is almost steaming its so hot!

From now on I will apply sunscreen everywhere AND wear a tshirt, I might even go out and get myself a rashy, I make my kids wear one so I should too! Lead by example maybe?????

Please remember to slip slop slap, don't do what I did and get burnt, its not pleasant at all.

New Years Resolutions

Christmas has come and gone and we are nearing the end of the year, gearing up for 2013, which makes me wonder how many people make New Years Resolutions, now I know at the top of most women's lists is to Lose Weight, this is also at the top of mine, I need to get back into getting healthy and looking after myself so I can therefor be a better person, mum and wife. I feel so much better when I'm eating well and losing weight, I would only like to lose around 8 kgs as I don't believe I'm meant to be too thin nor do i want to be, and we all know how hard it is to maintain once the weight has come off. So is losing weight one of your New Years Resolutions?

What else is on your list? another one on mine is to do washing every second day, so then it doesn't all pile up and the kids have no socks to wear. I would also like to try and cook a new meal every week, I tend to make the same things over and over and so I think something new and tasty is a must. I also want to go walking at least every second day, I want to participate in the Perth City to Surf in August so need to start preparing for it.

I don't feel as if I have made any unrealistic resolutions that I wont keep, we all know we have done that before, made an unrealistic promise to ourselves and then caved in on day 6, so for me, making realistic resolutions will hopefully keep me on track.

So what are yours?